Breakdown of Reality

               The princess stared out the window to her palace room, looking upon the kingdom. It really was a beautiful day. The princess sighed; it wasn’t like there was anything else to compare it to, every day was a beautiful day. Even the days that rained managed to be more enchanting than annoying or bothersome. Everything was perfect in the kingdom, her parents the King and Queen were perfect, their courtiers were perfect, their laws were perfect, their politics were perfect, everything that could be perfect was perfect.

               So why wasn’t she?

               She hadn’t been sleeping well, the dark thoughts dragging on her mind. She knew her parents loved her, at least she pretty sure of it. Being King and Queen meant that their attention was elsewhere a lot of the times. Most the time she never saw them unless it was an official State function, and then it was usually just to be paraded out as the pretty princess she was supposed to be.

               She had a few hobbies that she was good at but nothing that she truly excelled at. She’d caught a few suitors’ eyes but nothing that was acceptable for a girl of her stature. Her parents were two of the strongest rulers in the land; it followed that the man who would make her his queen would have to be powerful as well. There had to be some sort of strategic gain to marry her off. That offer hadn’t come yet. Everyone else seemed to understand their place in this world, and knew how they fit in.

               So why didn’t she?

               The princess looked away from the window and sighed heavily. This wouldn’t do, she’d never think of a way to bring an end to it all from here. It was just so depressingly cheerful. She changed into her traveling clothes and snuck out of the castle.

               She made her way to a beautiful lake that she’d always loved. She sat down at the edge and stared across the water, debating on how to best end her life. Finally she had a thought, drown herself in the lake.

               She was no more than ankle deep in the water when a fairy popped out of nowhere and screamed…

               “Princess no!”

               The princess stopped and looked at the fairy. She pretty little thing, about three feet tall, skinny, all angles, and pink skinned. Not the light pink that humans are colored, but a bright fluorescent pink. Perhaps this was what she was looking for; perhaps this was the answer to all her pleas. A pretty fairy to take her away from her life and into fairyland, provide distraction from the nothing that was her life.

               “Are you going to take me to fairyland?” the princess asked.

               The fairy gave the princess a confused look.

               “Why would I take you to fairyland?” the fairy asked in return.

               “Well, you stopped me from killing myself,” the princess answered, “So, I thought, maybe you cared?”

               The fairy snorted and looked at the princess as if that was the most absurd idea that she had ever heard.

               “The fuck I care about you?” the fairy asked, “I just didn’t want you to upset the lake’s ecosystem.”

               The princess frowned, feeling like she was about to cry.

               “Oh, ok,” the princess answered, “I guess that makes since.”

               “Damn right it makes sense,” the fairy said, “A lot more than me taking a human back to fairyland.

               The fairy shook her head at the idea and looked the princess over.

               “You know,” the fairy said, “You princesses have a built in danger factor that could get you killed, you know.”

               The princess’ eyes widened and she shook her head.

               “I don’t know,” the princess answered, “Please tell me, what is it?

               “Dragons of course,” the fairy answered, “Go find yourself a dragon; I’m sure he’d be happy to finish you off.”

               The princess nodded.

               “Oh, I hadn’t thought of that,” the princess said, the fairy did not look surprised, “I guess I’ve got to find a dragon.”

               “There’s a surly old bastard of a dragon in a cave near the mountains near here,” the fairy added, “I’m sure you’d get to him before the day was even half through.”

               The princess smiled and nodded to the fairy.

               “I just might,” the princess said, “Oh thank you so much.”

               The fairy shook her head and walked off without saying goodbye. The princess took one last gaze at the lake and turned around, determined to make it to the old dragon before lunch time. Maybe he’d be willing to have her for lunch, quite literally.

               She did make it to the cave before lunch, and she wasn’t afraid to admit that was a little intimidating. The entrance to the cave was over forty feet high and sixty feet wide, and the princess couldn’t tell if there was any light at all in the cave, it sure didn’t look like it.

               “Hello?” she called into the mouth of the cave.

               “Wazzit?” a deep, low, and powerful voice bellowed from the cave, “Whozat?”

               “I’m a princess,” the princess answered, “And I’d like you to eat me.”

               “A princess,” the dragon said, “And one that wants me to eat her, how could I ever pass that up.”

               A rumbling sound came from inside of the cave and the princess waited as it came closer. Finally a pair of giant taloned dragon claws struck the ground and a giant scaled dragon’s head stuck itself out. The scales looked a little rusted, the talons a little yellow, and the eyes were milky. The dragon sniffed her.

               “Yup,” the dragon said, “Definitely a princess, recognize you lot anywhere. My don’t you smell tasty. Well, just hold still.”

               The princess grinned as the dragon opened up its mouth to eat her. Then out of nowhere a bugle was played and the sound of hooves could be heard. The princess turned to watch a knight in steel armor with an iron lance charge the dragon. It pierced the roof of the mouth of the dragon; the one it had opened in an attempt to eat the princess.

               “Damn knights,” the dragon mumbled as the lance started to pierce its brain, “Always ruining lunch.”

               Then it died.

               The knight took his helmet off and stared at the dragon, grinning and nodding at a job well done. He was about six foot six, two hundred and forty pounds of what was probably pure muscle, strong jaw, nice features, brilliant teeth, and shoulder length silky black hair. He ran a hand through it as he looked at the dragon.

               Maybe this was it, the princess thought. Maybe this was the man that was going to take her away from all her loneliness and emptiness. Perhaps this could be the One.

               “Are you going to come and meet my parents now?” the princess asked the knight.

               The knight jumped and turned to face the princess, and seemed to be genuinely surprised that she was there.

               “Why would I meet your parents?” the knight asked.

               “Well, you did just save me,” the princess answered, “So I assumed you were going to marry me.”

               The knight’s eyes widened in shock when she said that.

               “Oh, what, wait,” the knight said, struggling to figure out the correct thing to say, “You mean the dragon?”

               The princess nodded.

               “That was just work you know,” the knight said, removing his left gauntlet, “Besides, I’m already married, with kids.”

               He showed the princess his wedding ring. The princess sighed and sat down, tears forming in her eyes.

               “Blast it all,” she said, “What am I supposed to do now?”

               The knight looked at her, puzzled.

               “You mean for a husband?” he asked.

               “No, not for a husband,” she replied, “I was trying to get the dragon to eat me, which is what he was about to do when you showed up. I’d finally found a way to end my life, and you went and ruined it.”

               The knight nodded.

               “Right,” he said, “I see what you mean. You ever thought of summoning a demon? I’m sure one of those would be right pleased to end your life.”

               The princess shook her head, her eyes a bit wide in awe.

               “No, I never thought of that,” she answered, before lowering her voice to just above a whisper, “You mean you know how to summon a demon?”

               “What me?” the knight responded, “Oh no, not at all. Why would I want to know something like that, anyway, I got a book. I’ll give it to you. It’ll show you how to summon a demon.”

               So the knight searched the sack on his pack mule and pulled out an ancient book bound in leather with archaic writing on the cover.

               “Right then,” the knight said after handing the book over, “I’m off, got to get back to the family. Good luck with the whole dying thing.”

               The princess nodded absently but didn’t respond as she paged through the book, the knight rode away.

               The princess recognized the language the book was written in, it was an old dead language that one of her tutors had made her learn. She flipped the pages to the section that she needed, Summoning a Demon. She read until she found the one that sounded like it would do for her purposes. She slowly and carefully invoked the spell found on the pages.

               A bright burst of flame appeared before her and in front of her stood a large horned demon. Its skin was hard and glowed a dull red, like coal embers. Flames danced in its eyes and it seemed to be amused at the princess.

               “You really summoned me from the depths of the Underworld for that?” it asked.

               “You can read my mind?” she responded.

               “Of course I can read your mind,” the demon answered, “Don’t be silly.”

               The princess nodded and the demon studied her for a few moments.

               “So, any particular way you want to go?” the demon asked.

               The princess shook her head.

               “No, not really,” she answered, “I just know I don’t want this anymore.”

               “Understood,” the demon said, “In that case…”

               He was interrupted by a sharp bolt of lightning that struck the ground next to the princess. A wizened old man stood next to her; from the colorful robes and tall pointy hat that he wore he could only be a wizard.

               “Back to the abyss with you, foul Deamon,” he yelled and started casting a complicated spell. The demon screamed and disappeared in a flash of smoke.

               “Right, that’s done with,” the wizard said, “Now, why were you summoning Daemons young lady?”

               The princess shrugged.

               “I wasn’t happy with my life,” she answered, “I was hoping that he would end it. But you went and ruined that, didn’t you.”

               The wizard shrugged.

               “Can’t have Daemons running about this plane of reality,” the wizard answered, “Would wreck everything up.”

               The princess sighed, and then brightened up, having had what she believed to be a wonderful idea.

               “Can I study magic under you?” she asked.

               The wizard laughed.

               “Study magic under me?” he responded, “Course not, don’t be daft. You’re a woman.”

               “What’s that got to with it?” she asked.

               “Wizard magic uses male energies,” the wizard answered, “Female energy is used solely by witches. I’m afraid I wouldn’t have the slightest clue on how you would go about using magic.”

               The princess frowned, disappointed at his answer. There really was no arguing with that one.

               “I don’t suppose you know any witches?” the princess asked.

               “Fraid not,” he answered, “They were all killed off a while ago.”

               “Oh,” the princess said, dejected, “Why were they killed off?”

               “Oh, I killed them all off for stealing my turnips,” he answered.

               The princess stared at him for a few minutes, her heart slowly sinking into her stomach. She’d tried to kill herself but nothing seemed to be working. And her newfound hopes had all been shattered so very quickly.

               The wizard stared off into space for a few moments then snapped his fingers.

               “Tell you what,” he said, “I know just the thing for you.”

               “Yeah,” she said, hope rising in her voice, “What is that?”

               “The gate of oblivion,” the wizard answered, “Just walk into it and you won’t have to worry about anything anymore, well, except maybe oblivion, but I don’t know how worrisome that really is. After all it’s just nothing.”

               The princess thought about it for a few moments and nodded.

               “That sounds like just the thing I need,” the princess said, “Where can I find this gate?”

               “Oh, that’s easy enough,” the wizard answered, “I’ve got a map.”

               He snapped his fingers and a map appeared in his hand. He handed it over to the princess and then snapped his fingers again, disappearing, no flash of lightning this time. The princess studied the map in her hands and nodded, this gate should be easy enough to find.

               She traveled the rest of the day to the gate. It was a big portal, just sitting in the air. There were no frames or anything supporting it, it was just a big hole in reality. It seemed so empty and void that the princess was a little scared of it. Somewhere deep inside her though she felt that this was what she really wanted.

               Well, here goes nothing, she thought.

               Then she stepped through the gate.